


Handsome Is As Handsome Does

by roebling



Category: B.A.P, K-pop
Genre: Body Image, Gen, Gen Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-01
Updated: 2012-09-01
Packaged: 2017-11-13 07:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/500873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roebling/pseuds/roebling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Himchan teases. Youngjae gets embarrassed. Himchan offers advice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Handsome Is As Handsome Does

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a lot of things, but in particular by B.A.P's appearance on Weekly Idol (find it on youtube) where the hosts say they think Youngjae is the best looking one and he scoffs in disbelief. It sort of makes my heart hurt. It also was inspired by the [recent article](http://matokitoki.tumblr.com/post/30377037293/news-120828-b-a-p-youngjae-with-resemblance-to) about Youngjae's 'perfect facial proportions'. I'm still not the hugest Himchan fan, but he's starting to grow on me. This was way less lame in my head.

For the first few months after he joins TS, Youngjae is really intimidated by Himchan. After all, Himchan is older, widely acknowledged to be really handsome, and an actual musician with classical training. He is popular with girls and even acted in a few commercials. For a while Himchan seems to be exactly the pompous, self important bully that Youngjae expects.

At some point though, Youngjae figures out what Himchan really is: someone's gossipy middle-aged aunt trapped in a young male body.

"Youngjae-yahhhhh~!" Himchan calls from the kitchen. He might not be one of the main vocalists, but he's got a set of impressive lungs. "People on the internet are talking about you againnnnn~!"

Youngjae scrunches his eyes shut. He's had about enough of people on the internet talking about him to last a life time, and he's had way more than enough of Himchan's delight in digging this stuff up. His hyung claims that he monitors so diligently in the interest of helping the group improve, but Youngjae suspects his motives are somewhat less wholesome.

"Hyung, I don't careeeee~!" he calls back, turning his attention to his iPad. He's stuck on a truly vexing level of Angry Birds.

"But it's nice things this time!" Himchan yells.

The door to the bedroom opens. Yongguk sticks his head out, frowning. "Shut up, you two," he says. "Junhong is sleeping."

Youngjae can hear Himchan's sigh. "Our poor Junhonggie needs his rest. He's a growing boy," he says, walking over to the couch with his laptop. He sits down so close to Youngjae he's nearly in his lap.

"Don't you want to know what they're saying?" Himchan asks, throwing his arm around Youngjae's shoulder.

Youngjae scowls. He's so close to beating this level, if only the stupid yellow triangle birds would just fall where he wants them to ...

"I know you do," Himchan continues.

Youngjae really doesn't, actually. He might care if he knew, so he'd rather just not know.

"It's important to know what the fans are thinking," Himchan says, pedantic. “How else can we improve?” He clears his throat, and then says in a high-pitched voice, "' _Youngjae oppa became so much more handsome_.'”

"La la la," Youngjae singsongs. "Don't care!"

“' _Oppa's good looks are really growing!_ ' ..."

Himchan is nothing if not persistent.

"Oooh, this is the best one," he says, with more glee than is really called for. "' _I miss Youngjae oppa’s chubby cheeks! Where did they go?_ "

Quicker than Youngjae can reaction, Himchan reaches up and squeezes his cheeks together, so hard it hurts.

"Nope," he says, cackling and giddy. "Don't seem like they went anywhere to me!"

Youngjae shoves him, hard. "You're a jerk, hyung," he says, rubbing his sore face. He knows he’s got a round baby face. Himchan doesn’t have to point it out.

"Oh, Youngjae-yah," Himchan says. "You know I do it out of love." He hugs Youngjae, again, hard.

Youngjae rolls his eyes. “Right,” he says.

Really, he doesn’t care if Himchan makes fun of him. He doesn’t even really care what the fans say about him (although he hasn’t forgotten when _those pictures_ showed up online and all the cruel things they said then). He just wants to forget that they’ve got to wake up at 6AM tomorrow, and most of all, he just wants to smash these damn pigs.

*****

"AHHHH!"

Youngjae flails in his bedsheets.

"Calm down already!" Himchan says. “Geeze.”

He's _on Youngjae's bed_ , creepily peering down at him while he sleeps.

"Why should I calm down? What are you doing?!" Youngjae's heart is still thumping in his chest. Himchan's face is the stuff of nightmares, at least first thing in the morning.

"I'm looking at you, stupid," Himchan says. He's staring at Youngjae with uncommon intensity, even for Himchan -- and he's got creepy demon eyes, so that's saying something.

Youngjae rolls over and shoves his face into the pillow. "Ugh," he says. "Don't you see my stupid face often enough? We're together every single day."

"Yeah," Himchan says. "But someone posted this thing on the fan cafe ..." He digs his fingers into Youngjae's ribs. "Roll over!"

"Ughhhh," Youngjae says. He rolls over, shuts his eyes, and goes limp. Whatever Himchan is doing, it's probably better just not to know.

"Hmmmm," Himchan says. "Hmmmmm." Again, more loudly.

Youngjae startles. Cool fingers settle on his face, one on the bridge of his nose, and another on the corner of his eye. It kind of tickles. It's really weird.

Youngjae hears the bunk creak.

Then Daehyun says, "Hyung, what the hell are you doing?"

"Measuring," Himchan says.

"Measuring ... what?" Daehyun sounds pretty confused. It’s understandable.

"What does it look like I'm measuring?"

Daehyun is silent for a moment. "It looks like you're measuring Youngjae's head."

Himchan exhales. "You are really just so, so bright, Daehyunnie. Honestly ..."

Now that Himchan's moved his hands down to rest on Youngjae's chin, he risks opening an eye.

"Why are you measuring my head?" He's a little nervous that the answer is going to involve magenta hair dye. Himchan is still Chocolate noona's closest ally.

"Someone posted something in the fan cafe ..." There's a weird expression on Himchan's face, one that's almost ... thoughtful. That’s not a common expression for Himchan hyung. "Huh," he says. "They were right."

"Right about my head?" Youngjae doesn't like where this conversation is going, not at all.

"Yeah," Himchan sounds kind of perplexed. "They posted an analysis of your head ..."

Youngjae sits up, alarmed. His head is not something that should be the subject of fan analysis.

Daehyun is cracking up in the top bunk. The others are even starting to stir. "What did she say? That it’s made of three parts StarCraft, one part Apple products, and one part styrofoam packing peanuts? That's pretty spot on, actually ..."

"Hey!" Youngjae likes technology, but it's not like it’s _all_ he thinks about. Some people shouldn’t talk, anyway, with their single-minded devotion to seeking out anything edible ...

"No," Himchan says, still staring at Youngjae intently. "She said he had perfect proportions."

"Huh? What does that mean?" Youngjae feels like this is most likely going to lead to some kind of joke, possibly a painful one. He doesn't know what facial proportions have to do with anything.

"Hmm," Daehyun says, frowning. "Well, he doesn't have a giant forehead like you, hyung."

Himchan scowls. "My forehead is fine, thank you very much. And I don't think we can mention oversized facial features without bringing up _someone's_ nose ..."

"Hey!" Daehyun says, indignant. He rolls off the top bunk and onto Himchan's back in a neat piece of acrobatics. Both of them are on top of Youngjae, who isn't sure that this isn't just a really bizarre nightmare.

"You're squashing me!" he yells, but they're not paying any attention. Youngjae shoves at Daehyun's stupid leg, but it's no use. “Get off!”

He pushes, hard, and Himchan goes flying on the floor. His eyes are wide. “That’s it! Penalty for unnecessary roughness!”

He launches a retaliatory tickle attack. Before long the others have woken up, and they all end up on Youngjae’s bed -- even Yongguk hyung. It’s not a very good fit, and wrestling like kids is probably not behavior becoming of idols, but whatever. It’s fun, and Youngjae feels happy (even though he still doesn’t know what Himchan was going on about).

*****

"Excuse me," Himchan says, shoving Daehyun aside. "The middle seats in the van are reserved for the group's visual line. Daehyunnie, you've been voted off the island. Go sit in the back with the ordinary people." He waves his free hand airily.

It’s late. They’ve just spent eight hours recording for their first variety show. Everyone was nervous. It went well, but now their nervous energy is gone and replaced by exhaustion. Nobody is in the mood for Himchan’s nonsense, Youngjae least of all, but before he can climb into the back of the van Himchan manhandles him into the other middle seat.

"Hey! Hyung, get off of me!"

Himchan silences him by clamping a hand over his mouth.

"Hyuunnng," Junhong whines, "I'm not an ordinary person."

"Junhonggie," Himchan says with an air of majesty, "I'm afraid to say you're the domestic help in this group."

Junhong's head falls, but he's grinning. Yongguk puts a consoling arm around his shoulder.  
Youngjae squirms, unhappy.

“I want to sit in the back,” he says, miserable.

Himchan shakes his head. “Nope,” he says. “No can do. You’ve been upgraded. It’s the middle seat now for you, Youngjae-yah.”

Youngjae sighs. It's not like he really cares if Himchan makes fun of him. He doesn't even care that the MCs made fun of him. It hadn’t really been that funny anyway. Resigned, he folds his arms over his chest and lets his head slump.

What’s the point of being recognized as a visual if all it gets you is the stupid middle seat of the van? They could make him sit on the floor, for all he cares. He mostly just wants to go to sleep, but when they get home he’s got to wait for all the hyungs before he can shower. (Never mind poor Junhonggie, who’s nearly asleep already and has to wait for all of them to finish.) If being part of the _visual line_ \-- whatever that means -- meant upgraded shower privileges, he’d be all for it.

As it is, he’s just going to ignore the teasing, like always. Himchan is probably going to forget about it before they even get home, anyway.

*****

A fews later they’re at a radio station. Youngjae likes when they get to do radio because they get to sing live and they don’t have to dress up. They’re almost done, but for taking a picture with the host. They crowd around, and Youngjae ends up in the back. He’s not tall so he’s kind of hidden, but he doesn’t mind. But then Himchan grabs his sleeve and pulls him to the front.

“Ahem,” he says, pushing Jongup out of the way. “Visuals in the front.”

Youngjae’s glad he doesn’t blush, because if he did he knows his cheeks would be scarlet. “Hyung,” he whispers, “cut it out.”

Himchan shrugs. “The fans want to see your pretty face, Youngjae. I’m just giving them what they want.”

Youngjae frowns. Right at that moment the staff member takes the photograph.

He’d be lying if he didn’t admit he’s a little bit pleased when he sees the photograph later and his face is twisted in a scowl.

*****

“You shouldn’t get mad.”

Youngjae startles. His hand slips on the mouse, and his character suffers ten points of damage.

“Ugh,” he says. “I was close to beating that level, hyung. Of course I’m going to get mad.”

Himchan is leaning against the door frame. “I didn’t mean about your video games, dummy,” he says. “I mean when people compliment you. You’ve got to learn to accept their compliments with grace.”

Youngjae snorts. “I can accept compliments just fine …”

“No,” Himchan says. “You get all huffy and puffy and roll your eyes. You’re kind of obvious, Youngjae-yah.”

Youngjae sighs. “Well if they’re going to say ridiculous things about me …”

“They’re not ridiculous,” Himchan says.

Youngjae is pretty sure they are. “Come on,” he says. “Saying I’m the best looking one? Comparing me to Yoo Seungho sunbaenim?”

“You admitted you looked like him yourself,” Himchan says. He’s still in the doorway and he doesn’t look like he’s going anywhere soon. Youngjae just wants to get back to his game.

“When we were little kids,” he says, exasperated.

Himchan is wearing gym shorts and a ratty old tee shirt, and his hair is falling in front of his eyes, but he still looks a little perfect and intimidating. “Do you think you’re ugly or something?” he asks after a minute.

Youngjae doesn’t think that. You can't be ugly and be an idol. But there's a big difference between being really handsome -- a flower boy -- and just being good looking enough.

“No,” he says. He is embarrassed now. “I’m just …”

“I’m going to give you some advice,” Himchan says. “Hyung to dongsaeng. It doesn’t matter what you think you look like. It only matters what other people think. If they want to tell you you’re the best looking guy in the entire country, then you should just smile and say thanks.”

Youngjae shrugs. “That’s easy for you to say. I can’t do that.”

Himchan frowns. There’s a weird, serious energy in the way he’s standing, in his gaze. “Do you really think I think I’m that handsome?”

“You say …”

“I know what I say,” Himchan says. “Yeah yeah, the group’s visual. That’s just for laughs. You know what I looked like when I was a kid. Do you _really_ think that I believe I’m that good looking?”

Youngjae knows what Himchan used to look like, but that was a really long time ago. He just shrugs.

“I don’t,” Himchan says. “I’m just good at faking it.”

Youngjae nods. It’s sad. He doesn’t know why, but it’s sad, and he’s not sure what to say. He just nods.

Then Himchan crosses the room. He’s grinning, all teeth. “You don’t have to worry, Youngjae-yah. You’re a cutie.”

He pinches Youngjae’s cheek. It hurts a lot. Himchan needs to stop doing that.

“Hyung,” Youngjae says. “You’re crazy, but thanks.”

“Any time,” Himchan says. “After all, us visuals have to stick together.”


End file.
